Webster’s Dictionary defines the word Choice as, “the act of choosing”. Everyone has a choice. We have those who have gone before us to thank for this. I was scrolling through my news feed this morning and came across a picture that one of my friends had commented on. The picture was nicely set, good lighting, and was in no way exploitative or pornographic. But some of the comments left on that particular picture shocked me.
Women have fought for equality for many years, and in some ways we get it, and in some ways we don’t. But do the things that we don’t get treated equally in make us any less of a person? No, it doesn’t. Does a picture posted of a woman in lingerie automatically make you think that she has low self-esteem, or that she was exploited in any way to get her to pose for that type of picture? I don’t see it that way. Do you immediately think the worst of the photographer? I don’t. 20-some years ago I would have posed for a picture like that, but since having three children, I wouldn’t now…but that doesn’t mean that I am uncomfortable in my own skin, on the contrary, I am VERY comfortable in my own skin, but I know how harshly women are judged whether in person, or in print.
As I said, the more comments that I read the more shocked I got. Even though the young woman in the picture stated that it was her idea, there were women on there who attacked her for it. I would wager a guess that if this photographer had posted a picture of a man with no shirt, all oiled up and very well defined, that those same women who were tearing this young lady apart, would be some of the first to download that picture, or share it or make comments on how fine he looked. I could be wrong, but I have known so many women who constantly complain about the objectifying of women, and how women aren’t treated equally, but turn around and will share pictures of half naked, if not almost completely naked men on their profiles and think nothing of it. How is that any different? It isn’t. That model made the choice to pose that way; they made the choice to wear what they did. It had nothing to do with low self-esteem, they were not coerced, they weren’t forced…they made that choice on their own, don’t condemn them for their choice that they made, just because you don’t agree with it.
Just because this model was posing in lingerie, it was automatically assumed that she was a slut or a whore by some that commented. Why? Just because I may post a picture of a female model in a thong, or in a pair of jeans that have the ass ripped out of them…does that define who I am? No, it doesn’t. Just because someone has the talent to write an erotic short story or poem, does that define them as that kind of person? No, it doesn’t. People are so quick to judge others by the pictures, poetry, or short stories that they post on the various social media sites. Why do people feel the need to be so judgmental and quick to assume the worst? Have we, as a society become so close minded that we can’t see the beauty in all things…regardless of the subject matter. People like to say that they aren’t close minded…but think about it; why couldn’t the women who didn’t like that picture just ignore it and go on? Why didn’t they take the couple of seconds that it takes to hide it from their news feeds? I will tell you why, it is their own self-doubt, it is their own lack of self-esteem, it is their hatred for anyone who is prettier, or smarter, or more successful than they are. I would do just about anything to have the body that I had when I was 20! It’s still there, but well hidden under a few layers of chubby…lol! I am not ashamed of how I look, I have three beautiful children that I brought into this world, that helped me to look this way, THAT is why I am comfortable in my skin.
You may disagree with all of this, and THAT is YOUR choice to make. A comparison that keeps popping into my head, and I know that I will probably take some heat for it, but this is my blog…no one else’s and I am going to say it. There aren’t very many people who support Westboro Baptist Church or the members in it…they spew hate and discontent, and they teach those children to be the same way…some of the ladies (and honestly, I am using that word loosely.) that were saying some of the worst things reminded me of those people; full of hate and spewing that venom as far and as wide as they could to hurt as many people as they could.
