Encouragement

I am going to “reveal” a few things about myself in this that I wouldn’t normally talk about. I am not doing it for pity, or to get any sympathy; but I am doing this because it is due to this tidbit that I have finally decided on a New Year’s Resolution. My resolution is to be an encourager, to do my best to lift people up and not tear them down. Will I slip up and forget, sure I will, I’m human. But I will just keep persevering because it is important to me.

The thing is that growing up, we all thought that we had figured out what we want to be when we grow up, and for some, their ideas changed daily. Some wanted to be a police officer, or a fire fighter, others wanted to be a rock star, or an artist. And the best thing that you can do when your children go through these phases is to encourage them! When I was in 8th grade, I was in the band, I played the flute (NO JOKES – I’ve heard them all, and the band camp one is the worst because EVERYONE brings that one up.). Anyway, we were each being called into the teacher’s office to discuss whether or not we were going to continue playing in the band in high school. Everyone was so excited because of course we all wanted to. I had held first, second or third chair off and on since 5th grade, and I wasn’t bad; but when I got into the office, he shut the door, sat down, looked me in the eye and said, “You aren’t going to sign up for band in high school are you?” It was the way he said it, like he didn’t want me to…I was heartbroken, but being the person that I was back then, I returned his look, dead in the eye, and said, “Obviously you don’t want me in band in high school, so I don’t think that I will.” I got up, walked out the door and didn’t shed a tear until after class when I hid out in the bathroom, pretended to be sick and went home. I will never forget that moment, and when I told my parents what he had said, they dismissed it as if it was nothing. They didn’t encourage me to practice harder, to prove to him and myself that I was worthy of being in the band, they just dismissed it, they dismissed my heartbreak and they dismissed my tears.

Fast forward to my junior year in high school; I had been in choir all of that time and my boyfriend at the time convinced me to try out for one of the solos in our Christmas Concert, so I did. No one knew that I had a three octave range; that I could sing. After the band incident, I had pretty much turned inward. I kept to myself and kept my head down; completely opposite of what I am now. I got up to try out and even my teacher was shocked, the look on her face made me feel good because I nailed it. I had so many people after class tell me that they didn’t realize that I could sing. The next day the solo was given to someone who had sung solos in our concerts since we were freshmen because the teacher wanted someone who had done it before and she wouldn’t have to worry about me getting stage fright. I looked her in the eye and informed her that the previous summer, at church camp, I had sung a solo in front of 1500 people, so stage fright wasn’t an issue. She didn’t even bat an eye and still gave the part to the other girl. Again I was crushed, but I wanted to sing and I was determined to do it professionally whether I got that damn solo or not. But again when I got home, there was no encouragement to keep going. A year later, while singing a solo at church, I damaged my vocal cords and my three octave range was gone, I can barely do 1 ½ octaves if I’m lucky.

I wanted to go to college, but I didn’t know that there was such a thing as financial aid, my counselor never told me, so I thought that my only option was BBC (Baptist Bible College) where I could have attended for free because my dad was a preacher. And even back then that was NOT happening. But whenever I would mention wanting to go to college, I got nothing. I was told that they couldn’t afford to send me to college, so I just needed to get a job and pay for it myself. It didn’t matter what I wanted to do, it was always met with indifference.

Don’t get me wrong, my parents did the best that they could for us. I don’t think that even they knew anything about financial aid for college. But when I was younger, I felt like no one believed in me, and I think that sometimes that carries over into my adult life because I am constantly second guessing myself, but I am working on that and trying to remain confident.

When my children were growing up, I tried to always encourage them no matter WHAT it was that they were doing, I still do it now. And now, they return that encouragement. I can’t even begin to tell you how it makes me feel that I am finally doing something that my kids can be proud of me for, and they are, and they let me know it!!

Encouragement is something that we all need; not all the time, but when people get down, it’s great to hear someone tell you, “You got this!” or “You can do it!” Sometimes I feel like I am starving for encouragement, but I get over that when I start looking through my pictures on fb and reading the comments.

So for the second part of my resolution; if you are feeling down, or less than confident, and you need some encouragement, or just someone to listen to you, I’m here. I want you all to know that you are fully capable of doing whatever you set your mind to do, never give up, don’t listen to the haters and be confident…you got this!