Scars

Scars

Scars...everyone has at least one visible scar.  But what about the scars that you can’t see: the scars on your heart and your very soul?  Visible scars sometimes fade away with time, the others, they only fade when you are truly able to let go of the reasons they are there in the first place.

Everyone deals with these scars differently, regardless of their visibility.  There are creams out there to make the visible ones go away, but what if there is a positive reason for a scar?  I have a couple of visible scars that I will forever show off, like Merit Badges, the reason for this is because they are there for no other reason but to remind me of my battle for life.  Before I went  through chemo over a year ago (I know!  It so doesn’t seem like it has been that long!) I had a biopsy, this was how we found out what type of cancer I had, that left a 2 inch scar under my right arm.  Then they implanted my power port.  That left another 2 inch scar, this one right below my left collar bone and right above my heart.  When they were finally able to remove the port, they re-opened that scar so that I wouldn’t have another one.

The invisible scars are those left by trauma to our hearts and souls.  Some feel like they will always be there and never go away.  But they do, you just have to figure out how to help them heal and fade away.  My generation and even the generations before were brought up on the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”  I am hear to tell you that that particular saying is so very wrong.  Bruises fade, bones heal, but hurtful words take a lifetime to get over, well, maybe not a lifetime, but a while.  It’s been a 10 years since I got out of a very abusive relationship, it wasn’t physical, just mental and verbal, and I am still healing those scars, but I am finding ways, every day to heal them and make that pain disappear.

I love to do the surveys on MySpace and every once in a while there will be a question about forgiveness, my standard answer is usually, “Forgiving is the easy part, forgetting is a whole other story.”  However, over the past year, I have learned that once you let go of past hurts, these scars do heal and they go away and this leaves you in a much happier place.  I still have scars that seem will never fade and once in a while, it feels as if they have re-opened and the hurt is there all over again.  These are the times that I feel completely alone, and don’t feel like I have control over my life.  But then I try to push the hurt to the back of my mind and they begin healing again.  Once I no longer think about that pain, and what caused it, that scar heals even more.  As we go through life, there will always be events that add more scars to our hearts and our souls, it is just up to us to help them heal. 

I have been very fortunate in that I have a very large support system.  My friends here on MySpace who “carried” me through my treatments, as well as my family, and friends who aren’t cyber-space friends.  Some of you I will never have the privilege of meeting in person and that in itself causes a small scar on my heart because that part of me would love to thank you face to face for your friendship and your support.

When it seems that you won’t ever be able to make a scar go away, stop and think about what is causing this scar to re-open and hurt all over again.  Put things into perspective, then begin whatever healing process works for you.  I had to learn to just breathe.  When things get to be too much, I stop and just breathe, I focus on the whole aspect of breathing and nothing else because without breathing, what are we?  We are nothing but a corpse.  It may not work for everyone, but it is like the old saying, “Take time to stop and smell the roses”.  Take time for yourself, it is important in the grand scheme of things.  We all need it in one way or another.

Love also helps to heal, whether it is the love of a significant other, a best friend, or the love of your family.  Love is the most powerful emotion that we, as humans, get to experience and I feel sorry for those who will never know the meaning of true love. 

Laughter, yet another thing to help the healing process.  I had to learn to laugh again.  I had let laughter leave my life and when I did laugh, it always seemed to me as if it were forced.  But now, I laugh freely and with all the gusto of life itself.

Love hard and completely, Laugh as if no one were listening, and Live...live life to its fullest because we never know when we will draw that final breath.  And breathe, breathe in the smells of the world good, bad or otherwise. 

Love to all,

~Raveyn